Secrets of a Successful Career, by Heather Merrill (Guest Post)

My mother’s wonderful and insightful post about what’s made her career successful. After 20 years of taking care of three little minions (us) full-time, she went back into the workforce and has been on the job for the past 15 years. It’s been amazing to see her overcome challenges and thrive in a demanding career. Here are some of her reflections:

Warning: These are not popular on LinkedIn

Having accumulated a few years of work experience, I’m now reflecting on what leads to a successful career. It’s not always the formulas you read about on LinkedIn. Is a successful career staying at the same company for years, even though you should quit to thrive? Is it never getting fired, laid off or treated unfairly? Is it not having to prove yourself over and over? Is it all about remote work? Does success mean you don’t have to apply for countless jobs or endure rejection? I don’t think so. It’s how you navigate through those inevitable struggles that builds a rewarding and successful career.

Here are eight qualities that can lead to success:

1. Gratefulness: Cultivate gratefulness by getting involved in the lives of others less fortunate than you. Have you spent significant time with anyone who can’t afford an education or who comes from a background with unspeakable hardship? Find a way to rub shoulders with them, whether it’s volunteering for an inner-city non-profit or traveling to another country. A wider perspective cultivates gratefulness.

2. Wisdom: I hear people say they don’t want anyone to tell them what to do, that we should believe in ourselves and forge our own path. They say things like, “I’ll learn to be a parent on my own. Past ways of parenting are outdated.” Frankly, that kind of thinking is foolish. Hasn’t anyone before you learned something valuable? Why would we deny ourselves the treasured insight others have painfully gained? Wisdom is seeking out answers from those who’ve gone before us, and who learned the hard way. Grab every opportunity to gain wisdom.

3. Honesty: This quality has been diluted to the point where we think it doesn’t apply to things that make our lives harder. There are exceptions where we don’t really need to be honest, right? Should we really pretend we’re accomplishing a full-time remote job and yet spend most of our time on a side hustle? Honesty in the short-term can hurt. Yet, having a high level of integrity can take you a long way in your career. You’ll have peace of mind. Success will come to you. Dishonesty always catches up to you. I don’t think anyone gets off easy in the end.

4. Hard work: When each of my 3 kids was around six years old, I taught them to work by rewarding them with small change. They were overjoyed to get that quarter when they worked for me. I kept that motivation going by appropriately rewarding hard work. Later they started a lawn mowing business and worked other jobs during the school year. Pulling weeds and sweating in the hot sun wasn’t beneath them and didn’t make them crumble. Today, they’ve all finished college debt-free, and make their own living. There’s a proverb that says, “A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest and poverty will come upon you like a robber.” (In modern terms that could be gaming, scrolling, binging…) The downhill slide isn’t rare, I’ve seen it happen to people I know…

5. Relationships: No matter how skilled and successful we are, healthy relationships are essential to a healthy life. This means being able to give without requiring anything back. It means inviting people over even when you feel it’s one-sided. It means tuning into the needs of people around you and taking action instead of texting good thoughts. Pepper your day with acts of kindness. What a stress reliever and mood uplifter! You’ll also be surprised to find a great support network is there when you need it.

6. Balance: This is the secret ingredient to succeeding in most everything. Too much work, too much eating, too much alone time, too little exercise, too much talking and not enough listening. The list can go on and on. Evaluate where you can achieve more balance in your life. It might be easing your political dogma, adjusting your spending or even finding a new home for the dogs that wreck your family peace. Whatever it is, balance helps you persevere through the hardest of times. Prioritize what’s important and work towards balance. I’ve seen balance even save a marriage…

7. Purpose: Why do we work? If we don’t have an answer to that, it can lead to a lot of dissatisfaction in our jobs. Take some time out to reflect. Do you work so you can have certain luxuries? Or to give more away? Or because the job itself is intrinsically satisfying? Or because you’ve tied yourself down with debt? Or to better the lives of your family? Whatever it is, be sure your job serves a purpose that means something to your heart. With purpose, what might look menial or trivial on LinkedIn, can be fulfilling and rich to you. Don’t be driven by appearances, but by purpose.

8. Forgiveness: This is very misunderstood. Forgiveness by its own nature is unjust. It’s giving something to someone who doesn’t deserve it & may not have asked for it. Extending forgiveness hurts. So why is it important? Because holding un-forgiveness is personally harmful. It creates negativity, anger, bitterness and other unwanted baggage. Do you want to be a LinkedIn whiner? Longer term, do you want to have an ugliness about you? Forgive the person who fired you. Forgive the company layoff. Forgive the slights and the ghostings. Believe it or not, you’ll find yourself happier. When the next opportunity arises, you’ll be an appealing hire.

If you patiently pursue these qualities, no matter what happens this year, I’ll bet on your success!

You can find her original post HERE.